My house is the quietest I’ve heard in a long time. Daddy and mummy are in melbourne. Co co’s in camp, and po po is in malaysia. So basically just me and che che in the house. The house suddenly feels huge when there’s only two people in it. I went downstairs just now to check on the dogs, and usually there are sounds at night. Not bad sounds, just the normal sounds you hear. like crickets or the wind or leaves rustling. but tonight, there was literally nothing. not in a creepy way though, it was just quiet, but in a peaceful way. i kinda felt like i was the only one awake on earth. a lonely feeling. 

anyway. i finished project serve on saturday. it was better than expected, really. actually its supposed to be called project reach but what the hell. everyone is so used to calling it project serve alr. i am SO glad its over. to be honest it kinda became more of a burden than something we all wanted to do, but in the end, we all enjoyed ourselves. and i’m sure the kids did too. so yes, very very proud of myself and the rest for being able to see this through and do an actual good job. 

You know, when we started off and decided we were going to do a day camp for the kids, i was wondering what good a day could do. i couldnt see any future where all this work put into the camp would help the kids in the long run, because our main aim was just to let the kids have fun, relax and play games. But you know what? i think that’s exactly what the kids needed. because other kids might get to go overseas to have fun, but not them. and there aren’t too many people in the world who would spend a few hundred dollars just to let them have fun. i think people have become too practical. they forget that it’s important to let kids just be kids. i’m not sure if this camp will help the children get into a better school or get a higher-paying job in the future, i’ll leave the practicalities to society, but i’m pretty sure that when they look back on that day, they’ll smile, and that’s more than enough for me. 

so this is it. the first step towards fulfilling my promise to myself that i will never forget the feelings and inspiration i felt in cambodia. hopefully i find the strength to take many more steps, regardless of how tiring they are. :) oh. jasmine told me that she asked these two sisters if they had been to east coast before, and they said no, but they had been to west coast before. then jasmine asked what they did there, and they said, “We used to stay there when we didn’t have a house.” and honestly, when i looked at them, laughing and screaming their hearts out, i swear no one would be able to tell what a tough time they’d been through. People think heroes are people who do extraordinary things, but i think heroes are the ones who manage to do ordinary things in extraordinary times. like remembering to laugh and smile and just have fun no matter how tough the circumstances might be. 

okay, reflection time over, gotta finish up my final history reflection. which, by the way, was due two hours and thirty-two minutes ago. now its thirty three minutes ago. 

Did you say it? ‘I love you. I don’t ever want to live without you. You changed my life.’ Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in ‘cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.”

We spend a lot of time focused on the future, planning it, working toward it. But at some point you start to realize your life is happening now. Not after med school, not after residency, right now. This is it. It’s here. Blink and you’ll miss it.

When something begins, you generally have no idea how it’s going to end. We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it.